Who do you answer to??

Every time that I sit down to write I try and think who my desired audience is. I think about why I am writing what I am and how will it affect how people view me. That is the error of my ways when it comes to life and my writing. i have a passion to put my words and thoughts out there. it is therapeutic for me to lets some of this shit out. It makes me feel good. If it has an effect on those that happen to read it then great, but it is for me to understand this world and life that God has given to me. You see the problem is that you have not experienced all of the things that I have. Even if I had a twin that has done and seen many of the things that I have, there would still be a difference in how those experiences affected the two of us. We are all unique creatures that have different views and feelings on all subjects. For anyone to say that my thoughts are wrong, that is just not the way that America was built. Does there have to be some consensus, of course if not you will have chaos, but today we have chaos because people not only want to voice there opinion, but they demand that everyone agree with them. That is just way too unrealistic.
So when I sit and type my thoughts I have to realize that I am really just writing for me. It is the therapeutic release that I use to help me get along in life. If someone else finds it entertaining or thought provoking it is an added bonus, but ultimately this life is all about me. My legacy is mine to create, my happiness is mine to achieve. In my writing I try to remind myself of the things that I am allowing to steal my joy. when I speak to others I try to point out how situations have affected me. It may come across as me telling them how to live or how to be, however this is all about my experiences. Is it arrogant of me to think so selfishly? I think not. I believe that it is the way we are all built. It is along the lines of to love others one must love themselves. To truly write to others one must be able to write to themselves. I hope that in writing to me I learn more about me and live a more fulfilling and joyous life.

Expectations VS. Blessings

I just finished reading an article about abundance and what that meant to the writer. It is an interesting thing when you look at life from a more spiritual standpoint. I often find myself challenged to find the blessings in my life. I often realize that the challenge comes from my own personal expectations of things. You see I expected to grow old with my wife and children by my side. The fact that this is not the case is truly troubling to me. However I am blessed to have great children that love me and that I love and spend time with on a regular basis. I expected to have a great career and be king of the job world. However I am blessed that in these chaotic economic times that I have a place to go each day and enough money to feed those that I am responsible for. I expected to drive a fancy car and live in a big house. Once again I am blessed because I am not out in the cold and my car gets me where I need to be. Last night I had nightmares of love lost and the pain of dealing with it. I expected that I could turn off my emotions and move on with my life, However I realize that I am blessed to be able to feel emotions like pain, and loss. I realize that if there is no pain for a lost love, then there was never any love. i realize that God has a plan for me that involves me facing the pain and learning from it. I realize that it is a blessing to have loved and lost. I also realize that as I grow the true blessing comes in being able to wake up each day and give it another shot. At times I will fail, at times I will have victory, but at all times I am blessed because I have the opportunity to keep trying.
Love to all.