What you looking For

First let me say something that may anger some. I am going to speak about something that is not directly related to my personal situation. I am not fully single. I am not really looking for someone. So to all the haters, yes I am speaking on a subject that I am not a certified expert on. However God has blessed me with a mind, the willingness to learn and listen and to pay attention to what is going on in the world. So I shall speak on IT.
So I was out looking for a car on my local Craigslist page. As I was searching I saw the personals sections and my curiosity got the best of me. I wonder what people are looking for. I have spoken to many people men and women who say what they are looking for just is not out there. There seems to be this lack of quality mates for all. Not just a lack of good black men or women. But not enough of anyone of any race or class or social and religious beliefs. The world is empty of single people. OK so lets see. The divorce rates are up, marriages are down. although co-habitation is higher am I to believe that everyone is living with someone and not getting married. Due to the current financial state of the world there are a lot of adds for roommates from people of all sexes. There are a lot of single people moving back home with mom and dad(Huge problem for the men that think they want to date). So I guess the answer to the first question is that there are Plenty of SINGLE people out there. No people, all the good ones are not taking.
So I lost a lot of you with that last statement. Yes there are plenty of good ones out there. if you have a positive view of yourself then you will see that you are one of the good ones. Now you have had relationship issues maybe. Maybe a divorce or just a string of the 'wrong' partners. Secretly I say if you have had a string of bad ones you might want to look in the mirror BEFORE you start looking for the next one. Just make sure that the problem is not you(because we must realize that 99% of our issues are us). We don't like that. But it is true. It sounds cliche but it is the truth that most of our problems are just that OUR problems. Not problems caused by others. yes if only they did what we wanted, when we wanted then to all would be great in the world. And yes we can always find someone that agrees with us as long as we look hard enough. So now you are saying he got off on a tangent and has lost his train of thought. this I thought was about finding the perfect partner and he's yapping about looking in the mirror.
And then it hits you like a ton of bricks. WHAT ARE YOU LOOKING FOR? The key word is YOU. It is not about what society says is best. Or mom and dad, sister/brother, best friend/my boyz says. It is all about YOU. Dating is less about the other person and more about us. It is our values and standards that make the decisions. How dumb is it to say that someone else has a problem if it is not a problem for them but for US. We therefore have issue with their behavior. if they had a problem with their behavior they would stop doing what they are doing. See that is the key issue to our relationship status. We are deciding one of the most important decisions in our lives and we are letting other peoples thoughts and perceptions of the ideal rule our minds. We have to look at ourselves and what we need and want from someone else and make our own decisions. If you are successful, do you need someone successful to be happy? I am not saying that you don't, but that is your choice and be damn sure that you are the one making that choice. There are so many theories on finding the right mate. There are so many opinions. And we know what they say about opinions. The thing that we might want to think about is what it is that we are truly about. We are evolving creatures and things will change, but our core values should not. And if someone does not fit with those then I don't care how FINE they are, it ain't gonna work. I believe that there are a lot of base values that will allow humans to get together. But there are so many conflicting values in our society now that it makes it hard to stay together. However it is far from impossible. It really is all about making the right choice to begin with. Men and Women hear me, YOU ARE NOT GOING TO CHANGE ANYBODY. They are who they are and if you are happy with that great, if not please move on to the next candidate. Do not waste your time or theirs. If you don't love you, wait please, YOU CANT GIVE WHAT YOU AIN'T GOT. Love of oneself is the most important thing in loving others. I am not talking about conceit or arrogance. you have to believe that you deserve the best in a person. And remember what I said before about how YOU decide who is best for you.
So as to not bring in things that do no matter I leave you with three simple things to get that mate you think does not exist.

1. Love yourself first. Know that you deserve the best that YOU want!
2. Look at yourself and see what is your match not what others say!
3. Stick to your values and beliefs and know that if you don't want someone to change you then you wont be changing someone else.
   

• BONUS: Know that God will bless you with what you need in his time.

Thank you for your time and happy hunting.