My deepest apology to my parents!!!!

On this 8th day of august 2011 at 2am I have realized my failure to my parents. I have paid years of lip service to the values that they taught me. I have sat back and looked at where others have not lived up to what they were taught and ignored my own shortcomings. So on this day I say I am sorry. The worst part of it all is that I can not say this to my mother. My mom that worked so hard to instill good judgment and healthy family values into us past away before I realized the extent of my failings. Her death has become a catalyst for me to understand the many areas in which I have come up short. Mom I know that you are looking down upon me from Heaven and sending me a warning to change, I saw you and spoke to you in my dream tonight and I understand what you were trying to show me. In 7 days my father will be 75 yrs old, this milestone is often celebrated with parties with all the children and grandchildren and friends and family by your side. Celebrated in the home that you have worked hard to provide, a show of all that you believed and the results of your hard work. For my father there is no celebration that is scheduled, there is no party planned, for my father there is another major loss that he will feel, less than a month after losing his wife, he is losing his home, his son has failed him. So worried was I about how people saw me, that I did not realize that all that I stood for and believed in was falling apart right before my eyes. I was blinded by my own selfishness and holier than thou attitude to see the suffering of my parents at my own hand. I was quick to judge others, but so slow to see where I was failing each day. The burden that I put on my parents with watching my children, not just as grandparents, but as people to make up for where I had failed to prepare. The stresses of worrying about me well into adulthood when I should have been caring for their needs. The truth is that I have not been concerned enough for what they have needed. For the things that they have desired in this life. They gave me life and I gave back heartache, so many in my generation are too selfish to realize the things that we do that are so wrong. We believe that it is our right to do it because we want to do it, forgetting that so many have sacrificed so that we can even have the rights to choose what is RIGHT!!! I will try now to make up for it, much much too late in so many ways, I will bring my father into my home, but I helped him to lose his own, I was not there to pick him up when he needed me to be. For all that was given to me, I failed to make good on it so far, but I will try to make the time he has left at least comfortable. To my mother, you are gone, I love you and want you to know how much I am sorry for not becoming the man that you raised me to be, I know that I need to change and to re-evaluate many choices that I have made. You taught me how to earn and to learn and I could not even provide you with a decent service in the end. But know that I love you and that I will to better, I must do better. So that I can join you. Put in a good word for me, but I know that it is up to me to make it there, you made it on your own hard work and faithfulness and that is the only way that I will get there too.
To all those that read this, to those that hear these words, it is time to wake up, it is time to look at yourself honestly, don’t wait til it is too late to be all that you can for your parents and for yourselves. Remember what we owe not just to ourselves, but to the generations before us and the generations to follow us. The attitude that only thinks of selfishness and personal needs is flawed and will fail you and those that you love. Remember where you came from and what that truly means. And don't be like me and realize so much way too LATE!!!